Friday, April 13, 2007

HOW TO SELL UNDERWEAR AND MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT THEIR BOOBS

I belong to the people who have learned to instinctively ignore any ads on the Internet. I remember a lecture in marketing where my teacher, in his 50's or 60's, spoke about the great advertising possibilities in search engines: "People search for a certain term, and look! Here are some results!" He pointed at the "Sponsored Links" in a screenshot of Google.

I blurted out, "But they're ads ...!", thinking about the rather unethical but much more effective method of buying your website high results on certain queries, and also the fact that I hardly ever notice any ads thanks to my special conditioning.

Still, once in a while, I do notice an ad. One recent example is in one of my Russian E-mail services. There's a pretty ugly drawing of an anorectic brunette holding her hands over a pair of naked, silicone enhanced looking breasts, and the text: "Do you want a beautiful bust? Your bust is in your hands!"

The link leads to a page in "Woman Journal", a Russian web portal for women. The text begins: "It's about time to look the truth in the eyes. Or rather, in the cleavage. After all, this is the part of the female body that inescapably draws the attention of men." ... "If you already are the owner of a fine bust, you will know that what we are saying is the truth. And, well, if your bust is smaller than you would like it to be, you will have a real chance of finding out in practise."

This is how it works: They have a "game" where you're supposed to help the bony brunette get bigger boobs. Because this girl, "like many other girls, thinks that if the size of her bust would be a bit bigger, then it would really kick ass."After all, it's a "fact" that "the curves of Anna Semenovitch, Afisa Tchekhova and Pamela Anderson make the hearts of men beat faster".

What you have to do is register on the site and "collect votes" - the more votes you get, the more the girl's boobs will be pumped up! So you have to get "as many friends as possible" to register and vote for you. And the three contestants with the most blown-up busts will win sets of underwear. Yay!

Yes, what a really great way for the underwear company to get PR and at the same time make people feel bad about their boobs, so they will buy even more "enhancing" bras out of insecurity! And the game sounds like so much FUN! Yay, pumping up breasts! That must be something all women really enjoy!!!

P.S. There is some weird inconsistency. Note how both models sporting the prizes have really small breasts:

2 comments:

ainur said...

That was totally bizarre. The game sounds like it was designed for 13-year-old boys (or a drunken frat party). How can they possibly imagine that average women could find it funny? Unless... they are being satirical?...

A lot of men are more interested in butts, anyway.

Tinet said...

Hmm, it's probably supposed to be "humorous", but it doesn't seem satirical ...

I want to make a parody of this game that would be about a poor hairless man who wants to grow more body hair!